Double, to cope with anxiety

You can always find a cemetery close to an airport, at least when this is by the city and no 50 kilometers away. It is somehow scary when you are landing and especially when you are taking off, but it makes all the sense. Tombs are not high, and moreover, the buried do not complain about the noise, although the statement of eternal rest might need to be revised in those cases. I do not know what the Feng Shui would say about this disposition but for me it looks like a terrible marketing operation, only comparable to setting a McDonals in front of a gym. It makes you uncomfortable and nervous. At least it makes me nervous. So this time I had to order whisky as soon as the stewardess came. Double, to cope with anxiety. It was with the third one that I started to feel better. Cheerfulness overrode anxiety: I was meeting Emma in few hours, and this time it was going to work. I thought of ordering the last whisky, but the woman nearby swapped seats with her son to prevent him being next to me so, embarrassed, I dropped the idea.

No big deal, because the plan was to get drunk with Emma. It would all start with some beers, small talk and it would get to the “I missed you so badly” as the time would go on. It looked pretty easy, but it had looked so before. And it had always gone wrong. She liked me, I liked her, but too much time of bad timing had led to a bittersweet relation. Last time I visit her-I was the one who always had to go to her, as she would only promise to do so in the indeterminate future- she was with a random guy so of course nothing happened. But she kept that till I landed, so she could enjoy my disappointment. I am positive it was a revenge from when the roles were inverted. Anyhow, now she was single, so there was no reason why it shouldn’t work out. Of course, once again, it didn’t. I have no explanation though. No mistake, no rejection either. But all the affection shown the previous weeks vanished together with the conversation topic. Our eyes could not stare at each other. We had held it too long and now it was rotten.